Today would have been the day....

Today would have been our due date. Today we would have been welcoming a new little life into our crazy family and going from a family of 4 to 5. Today would have been a fantastic day. Unfortunately for us today is not that day. We are not welcoming a new little one, our family is not expanding by two little feet, and today is not a fantastic day. Shortly after finding out we were expecting we went through our first pregnancy loss. Although early, we still loved that little one from the minute we got that positive test. We started planning and imagining  what our family would be like with a new little baby and how we would adjust. It had been 5 years since Harper was born and this was going to be like starting all over. I didn't feel the need to worry about pregnancy loss, why would I when our first two pregnancies were relatively easy, and then everything changed.

I've wondered for sometime how I would feel when our due date rolled around, would I feel normal (how could I?), would I cry and mope around all day (probably), would I be angry at the world (yes).


I've managed to only cry once, probably because it's been a busy day, Wellness Wednesday at the school for both little ones and a gifted and talented meeting for Kaylee, but our loss has constantly been on my mind today.

I'm not going to make this some long post about my feelings and all that crap, I just felt the need to put down that today sucks.

Laters.